the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
All the doctor said was why
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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