Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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