we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize