Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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