You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i think i have two assholes
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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