Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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