Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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