can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
