i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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