Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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