1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
