this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
