And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
