jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
