the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
