I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
