She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i love accidental penises.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
