yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
