That's intense
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
