Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
