Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.

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  (775): Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/nqat
  Replies (26) Good night (3526) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.

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  (647): Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream. http://tfl.nu/8fzb
  Replies (5) Good night (5946) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.

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  (814): i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit. http://tfl.nu/riqs
  Replies (72) Good night (4501) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"

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  (603): You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!" http://tfl.nu/jokx
  Replies (9) Good night (4878) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

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  (206): He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look http://tfl.nu/dski
  Replies (17) Good night (4669) Bad night (1333) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  yo everyone went to the hospital last night

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  (401): yo everyone went to the hospital last night http://tfl.nu/d0a6
  Replies (22) Good night (1856) Bad night (4675) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge

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  (828): then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge http://tfl.nu/hh8c
  Replies (10) Good night (4093) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain

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  (414): got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain http://tfl.nu/81b4
  Replies (2) Good night (1655) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time

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  (843): you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time http://tfl.nu/xd6c
  Replies (7) Good night (1883) Bad night (505)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?

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  (402): Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out? http://tfl.nu/j98q
  Replies (14) Good night (443) Bad night (2795) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.

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  (612): she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different. http://tfl.nu/v2bl
  Replies (2) Good night (913) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.

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  (209): Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before. http://tfl.nu/iyhk
  Replies (4) Good night (454) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why does my jaw hurt?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I may have punched you.

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  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (7) Good night (1618) Bad night (347)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late

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  (775): This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late http://tfl.nu/ovyj
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (202)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?

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  (616): Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape? http://tfl.nu/8v8b
  Replies (3) Good night (1163) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt

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