Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success

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(518): View more from New York

goodnight i made you a song goodbye

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

How has he not realized you're pregnant?

(201): View more from New Jersey

Spanx.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.

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(678): View more from Georgia

his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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(954): View more from Florida

It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.

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(801): View more from Utah

My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.

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(425): View more from Washington

I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad

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