Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
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Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.