I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?