Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me

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  (904): I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me http://tfl.nu/myzn
  Replies (28) Good night (1165) Bad night (6161)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  They have edible shot glasses at target.

  (1-812): View more from Indiana

  There really is a God.

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  (812): They have edible shot glasses at target. (1-812): There really is a God. http://tfl.nu/0gpe
  Replies (24) Good night (6082) Bad night (649)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground

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  (415): I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground http://tfl.nu/kjbx
  Replies (7) Good night (3173) Bad night (947)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?

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  (705): I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan? http://tfl.nu/r3wz
  Replies (5) Good night (1261) Bad night (1923)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial

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  (845): Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial http://tfl.nu/xnww
  Replies (4) Good night (1578) Bad night (1325)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".

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  (512): He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns". http://tfl.nu/398g
  Replies (12) Good night (2694) Bad night (1085)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat

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  (917): I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat http://tfl.nu/jkqr
  Replies (2) Good night (1070) Bad night (629)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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  (709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a
  Replies (2) Good night (1875) Bad night (832)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.

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  (248): I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night. http://tfl.nu/xi8c
  Replies (6) Good night (1355) Bad night (551)
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  (347): View more from New York

  Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.

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  (347): Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds. http://tfl.nu/v5xi
  Replies (10) Good night (942) Bad night (431)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..

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  (319): You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer.. http://tfl.nu/i9am
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (728)
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  (626): View more from California

  I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.

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  (626): I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger. http://tfl.nu/jsvx
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (526)
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  (408): View more from California

  if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

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  (408): if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt http://tfl.nu/goj5
  Replies (3) Good night (875) Bad night (538)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  "YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.

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  (602): "YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics. http://tfl.nu/6e83
  Replies (0) Good night (271) Bad night (468)
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  (408): View more from California

  We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.

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  (408): We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate. http://tfl.nu/d3a6
  Replies (0) Good night (274) Bad night (420)

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