I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
