do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I wear drunk well.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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