There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
