THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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