we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Randomize
