brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
