I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
