No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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