do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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