You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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