the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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