i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
