# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
