Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
