respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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