so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
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come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
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I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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