i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize