We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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