just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
