i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
