Apparently you make a good broom.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
