Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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