fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
