We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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