some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
