My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
