Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
