I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize