Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
