go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize