i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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