At least make sure they are 18
Why
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
