Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
